I recently had a miscarriage. I didn’t even know I was pregnant! well, my period mid-August was a couple days late, then I got it and it was super heavy. I didn’t think anything of it as I was only 2 days late. I hadn’t missed any prior periods though my July period was light. Then 2 weeks after my August period I’m bleeding again, this time super massive. I went to the gynecologist and she said, Did you take a pregnancy test? I asked her, Why would I take a pregnancy test when I had my period?? she said Well you never know. So she did a blood test, and not only was I pregnant but I was still pregnant!! So she sent me for an ultrasound. Did you know it is possible to be pregnant with twins, lose one, and have the other survive to birth? I was very shocked…as you may know my husband and I had decided not to have more children. Our youngest child, T-bop, will be 12 in a few months and our oldest is 20 years old. So we feel our family is complete. Now, I had continued mass bleeding. Get the ultrasound results and there is stuff in uterus, the baby may survive. Go back to doc a few days later (bleeding heavy clots all the while) she does exam, another ultrasound. My uterus is now empty so passed/miscarried again. Diagnosis: I miscarried twins.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then after a week or so she has me come back in for a check up and stuff. Blood tests says I am still pregnant because my HCG levels are going up instead of decreasing like they should after a birth/miscarriage/whatever. BUT they are not doubling like they should with a normal pregnancy. This time the doctor suspects there is a fetus in my tubes. Jesus! She does another test in 4 days. My HCG rates are still increasing but at the slow rate which indicates an ectopic or otherwise known as tubal pregnancy. There is nothing I can do, can’t have it, can’t save it. An ectopic pregnancy can lead to death. So I had to get a shot of methotrexate, which basically ends the pregnancy and causes the body to flush it out the tubes and/or reabsorb some of the tissue.

So now I am recovering, bleeding again but much less massively thank god. I feel like I’ve been hit by a train. What a month. We are investigating our birth control options including surgery for Brian. I can’t go through this again. I’m all about being natural but now I’d get on the pill or other hormonal birth control if I could…unfortunately I have a history of severe blood clots, a minor heart condition, and I’m over 35 so those are not an option for me.

Well I made it nearly 12 years without a pregnancy, so natural family planning worked a good long while. But when we failed with it, it failed big time. 3 babies! That’s because when you get over 35 your body starts shooting out more eggs at a time, which is why multiples are more common in older mothers. I think because we were so successful with using natural family planning for so long, I got a little careless…this has been a tumultuous year for me and my cycle has been off more than once.

We told the boys mid-way through all this going-on because with all the going back and forth to the doctor and hospital I felt it was important for them to know what was going in. They were relieved that I was ok and there was no cancer scare. They were ambivalent about me having a miscarriage, I guess because they are both so much older now. S-bop, who recently started high school, said it would be embarrassing to have a pregnant mother LOL. I think if I were in high school I’d feel the same way. My daughter was very kind about it and came out to visit and spend some time with me. Seeing her made me feel a lot better.

I’m feeling physically much better today and go back to work tomorrow. It will be nice to get back into the swing of working and taking care of my household duties; just relax into my routines. This did throw off all my bookstore plans for this month, so I will have to re-open next month. and my end-of-summer gardening plans, I had to ditch those. The good thing is, I made it through this, and learned I am stronger than I ever imagined.

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