i-bop is now 17, her birthday was last week. I have an essay coming together about this, I was asked to do a piece for this magazine, and I’m finding it hard to get started. I have a lot of conflicting emotions about this birthday. I had her when I was 17. So this particular age is like a big milestone/anniversary for me.

I was such a child in my thinking when I was pregnant with her, that I didn’t really believe I was going to have a baby until I was in labor. The immensity of what I was doing, the undertaking of bearing and raising another human being, didn’t hit me until full labor hit. Then out she came, and motherhood was upon me. I hit the ground running baby strapped to my back and I haven’t stopped since. Being her mother was my joy in life, my focus, the point of my being. I was astonished then and now that I actually gave birth to this fantastic person, that she came out of me, was a part of me. Giving birth to my daughter made me realize my own potential and possibilities, my own innate goodness and joy for life.

She knocks me out, every day. If someone had asked me 17 years ago, what do you think she will be like when she’s your age? I wouldn’t have imagined even half. She’s good. She’s a good person. She’s smart, and kind, and funny, and assertive. She’s loyal, and generous, and helpful, and clean. She’s creative, and focused on her art with an intensity many creative adults don’t have. She’s idealistic and sweet-natured, and caring, and open to learning. Most importantly to me, because I don’t posses this, she has common sense. This allows her to function in the world with an ease I admire and strive to emulate. Sometimes when I feel flummoxed by something, I ask myself, what would i-bop do? and then do that. Invariably it is the right choice and has saved me from countless social snafus, misunderstandings, and wastes of time.

I am the type of person who metaphorically goes all the way downtown to cross the street. My daughter has taught me to cut through the forest, to see the common sense way of doing things. To simply, cross the street. It is a credit to her kind nature that she has never called me stupid or made fun of this trait in me, but has been patient with explaining common sense things to me ever since she was a small child. I had a head injury when she was small that I think she credits my thick-headedness to, but in truth I never had much common sense even before that. So I am thankful and blessed that i-bop has plenty of it.

some recent events for i-bop include:

driving me around town! (she has her temps)
got her braces off!
went to prom!
cut off her mohawk!
decided on 3 art colleges to apply to (one in ohio!!!)

Each change is like a thump to my heart…each thump reminds me of how much my baby girl has grown and changed in the past year, and how many changes are in store for this coming year. 16 went by in a blur. She says, I don’t feel 17 yet, when will I feel 17? and I just look at her, amazed she can’t see the changes. To me they are as apparant as a neon sign: Almost grown person here!

No related posts.

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.