There is great power and affirmation in raising black children in a racist culture who are conscious and proud of who they are, who have no desire to be white or look white or ‘act’ white, any of that. And by acting white I don’t mean what you sound like or what kind of music you listen to or whatever. It’s the conscious imitation of what some people think white folks are like…it’s hard to put my finger on but I know it when I see it.
When I was a child I didn’t want to be white, but I had a difficult time being the only black child in my school class or at camp, I felt singled out a lot of the time and I got easily upset and flustered at questions about my skin color, hair texture, slavery, etc.
My kids don’t have that and it knocks me out. They don’t have the apprehension around white people that I had at similar ages. They have a confidence in themselves that took me decades to master. Little things…like one time Scott had this white friend over and they were coloring. The boy asked Scott to pass him the ‘skin color’ crayon. So Scott passed him a brown crayon, he didn’t even blink. The kid was like, no I meant my skin color. Scott then says, you should have said so, because when you say skin color I automatically think of brown. I’m brown and most people in the world are brown. The kid was like, I didn’t know that! Then they started talking about their Yugioh cards.
I didn’t say anything…I was just knocked out how Scott responded to that. When I was a kid I hated it, absolutely hated it when white kids started that ‘skin color’ crayon nonsense. Me at that age? I would have just passed the peach crayon and felt upset in silence, because I would have assumed that’s what they meant…even though my own skin is brown.
Scott’s response tells me that he is viewing the world from his perspective as a black person, not the skewed, reflected perspective of white people. It didn’t even occur to him to care or wonder if the white boy would get upset if he passed him the brown crayon. I think being freed from caring what white people think is an important step in achieving black consciousness. For black children who never have this ‘caring what white folks think’ mentality, there is no telling what they can/will do as adults.
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3 Responses to The Skin Color Crayon
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- I'm Trula and this is my mommy blog. Being the mother to these children has been one of the most beautiful things to happen to me. Trula Kids, formerly Mama Specific Productions, is part of the MSPmedia network ©2002-2011 All Rights Reserved
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GIRL! you know good and well this is a BMD post. I am working at a fevered pitch, taking (at high rates of speed) every available avenue in an effort to build this in my son especially. when he told me that he was embarassed to talk about being black in front of the kids at school (99.9% white) I assured him that doing more of it would extinguish that apprehension. Now he is reading Up From Slavery and preparing to do a report on it (at his request).
I think if we are proud and aware of who we are and where we come from before them, they will understand nothing less.
you have managed a difficult task (clearly without even knowing it!)
You rock!
Oh, thank you so much, that means a lot to me.
Hi Trula – I just hopped over here from Hip Mama (and your fabulous coochie post). I like this entry. It never occurred to me people of color would “care what white people think” (although it makes sense to me the way you express it). I’m sure you can find a lot of differences between racial and gender progress, but this makes me think of my mother and I and our differences of what MEN think. I worked in a 99% male field for years and I knew I deserved to work there. It never occcurred to me to feel self-conscious about my breaks to breastfeed or feel I had to “prove” myself to the boys. In contrast, my mom worked in the same field and she was alternatively passive and full of repressed bitterness (decades of!) over how she was treated. I’m not sure if I’m expressing the parallel well, but it’s what I thought of when I read this.
Anyway – great entry, and wonderful job with your children! Their potential is amazing, I agree.