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Brian and I have decided to have another little one. A new person. A child. A baby. Who will it be? I sense this new person hovering around my edges, all ready to be born.

This is my youngest’s second full year of school all day. Last year he was in all-day kindergarten, which was Brian’s idea. I was working a full-time night job and he felt I wouldn’t get any sleep, he insisted that Todd be in school all day. Scott was in 3rd and Iyende was in 9th. After I saw my baby was happy at school I relaxed and reveled in the calm and quiet of 7. uninterrupted. hours. all day. Some days I slept the whole time they were gone, other days I wrote the whole time they were gone. Sometimes I’d go visit their schools and wander around, peeking into their classrooms. At the boy’s school it was cool as other moms visited and helped in the classes and stuff, but at the high school I was usually the only mama wandering around.

This past weekend they were over Brian’s mom’s house most of the time. They went over Saturday afternoon and came home late Sunday evening at bedtime. Saturday night Brian and I fooled around and did our naked running about we usually do when the kids are gone, then slept in Sunday and laid in bed until close to 2 in the afternoon. It’s so nice having big children. We asked each other, do you remember what it was like when the boys were small? Remember we couldn’t do this? I can remember, but it seems so faint. Sitting with my friend’s new baby it just doesn’t seem real to me how exhausting little ones can be, it couldn’t have been that bad for me, I think…but it was, it was. I am blessed in that my children have always been, for the most part, fun and happy kiddies, but even still there was crying, there was drama, there was spitting and throw-up and shit and snot and fevers and no sleep no sleep no sleep no sleep. Am I ready for that again? YES.

Todd will be 7 when this new one comes to earth, Scott will be 10, and Iyende 16. It will be nice to have 3 big helpers with the baby, especially the boys. I remember Iyende was a big help at their ages. I don’t know how much help Iyende will be, she’s so busy! with school and her activities and friends. She is a good kid, though, I know she will help as much as I ask and go out of her way to help if I don’t ask. She does that with the boys, now. Sometimes she’ll turn down invitations from her friends and spend a weekend afternoon hanging out with her brothers. This is a big deal and treat for them, they love to play video games with her or paint with her or show her their skateboarding tricks. I will have to be careful not to ask her for too much help when the new baby comes, I don’t want to take away from her fun and teenage life.

So this pushes to the back burner a few other things I wanted to do…no more body piercing for awhile, and depending on when I get pregnant we won’t go to Burning Man next year. Everything else I think we can still do, just have to adjust for flying and such. I am more than a little scared as pregnancy and labor has always been hard for me…I always need years and years between kids for that reason. Plus my nerves are bad, I am prone to post-partum depression. Still, I feel there is one more Trula Kid inside me, with big brown eyes and lots of hair and quick-witted with surprising kindness…come out, come out, your family is waiting for you.

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