So I’ve been re-reading Sister Outsider: Essays and Speeches by Audre Lourde. This woman was such an awesome writer, thinker, and visionary. Her essays about feminism, racism, heterosexism, and more, are so socially evolved it’s incredible. It’s 2003 and I still sometimes feel like sexism and racism are insurmountable an will forever keep humanity mired in the dark ages, stuck in a primitive way of relating to each other.

My favorite essay in the book is ‘Sexism: An American Disease in Black Face’ where she talks of black feminism and sexism in the black community. This essay was especially helpful for me to read again because I feel like I am talking to a wall when trying to discuss sexism with black men both online and off. Case in point: Casa Indaba Discussion on sex frequency in a marriage, relationship woes, etc. Casa Indaba is a message board community that focuses on black issues. In this particular discussion I was getting slammed for saying that I only have sex when I want to. Can you believe that?! In this day and age, having to argue over a woman’s right to decline sex in her relationship. Man! Kinda scary, but discussions like this always make me thankful that I have a husband who understands this.

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